Comments on Omid's Blog: I fucked God up the ass

Regarding your blog - broadband cable. I have jus...

2007-02-15T10:30:00.000Z

Regarding your blog - broadband cable. I have just signed up to talktalk broadband and is an absolutely superb deal. I get free telephone calls 24/7 plus free 8Mb/s broadband (which is lightening fast btw). I would definitely recommend talktalk broadband for anyone in the uk. Also available at www.bargainplace.co.uk

That £14.99 bulldog broadband deal is a bargain ap...

2006-05-11T20:13:00.000+01:00

That £14.99 bulldog broadband deal is a bargain apart from at full speed you can only use it for 64 seconds before you’ve exhausted your month’s usage. So that’s about £0.23 a second!

One of the problems with our country in relation to the 'unlimited' broadband offer is that we don't have the rails to take our trains. I mean that metaphorically when I say this because our phone cables are too rusty to take a shiny 16mbps and also literally, because our rails really are too shit to take our high speed trains.

If you were desperate for internet, you could go to Tiscali. They enjoyed our 'clientship' so much they wouldn't release our telephone line after we requested that they terminate our service. We had to stop paying them so that they would leave us alone but we were so much of a pleasure to keep hold of that they sent us multiple legal threats. I bet Bill Gates runs Tiscali. He needs our £17.99 a month. Obviously.

As for Tesco’s I reckon that all the people that work there buy their toilet paper from Morrisons. Good old reliable Morrisons. Apart from when they moved the biscuits.

oooooh dear. I've entered God's orb. And now, ha...

2006-05-10T21:57:00.000+01:00

oooooh dear. I've entered God's orb. And now, having been truly loafing instead of working, I've browsed back through earlier topics and learnt the truly shocking truth. God is none other than Mr Cooper. Sorry Paul, didn't know.

Mrs EP King of R and R Wilson

On Entering God's Orberm.....isn't Patrick Bateman...

2006-05-10T21:47:00.000+01:00

On Entering God's Orb

erm.....isn't Patrick Bateman the central character from 'American Psycho'? Frankly a duff film....all pseudo '80s mise-en-scene and little in the way of cohesive narrative or merit. Well, that is, apart from one darkly comic scene where, Patrick, if it is him, our uber-killer anti-hero, opens his vast walk-in closet to reveal.............................rows of lifeless bodies strung up neatly like designer suits. Let me see, which one to wear today?

And this here coke ad has thus far passed me by - sounds truly hideous. Could this be a deliberate semantic parallel with the product - also clearly hideous? Sounds overtly homophobic? When will producers of such iconic consumables learn to leave well alone. Heinz are now making ghastly perversions of baked beans now...why? Pretty soon Marmite'll morph into an incongruous pairing with some fruit thats deemed to be fashionable in the home counties.

About the bog roll dilemma - erm....like cellotape, I'm certain its a ploy by the manufacturers to A: get us talking mindlessly about their product, rather like this, bemoaning and berrating Tesco (not Tesco's Orville person - don't add apostrophes like that - it's beyond irritating) - it's all promoting the name of their product/company, albeit negatively, so it still spreads the name and B: make us use tons more than we need getting the stuff undone.

But...with cellotape, you can always act all feeble and weedy and pass it someone else, empowering them by praising their patience, tenacity or directly saying that they're dead good at finding the end of the cellotape roll. And here is the true dilemma. When you're taking a dump, there's a distinct lack of these handy people seeking approbation, ready to jump in and help, so to paraphrase young Hamlet, there's the rub. Or rather, there's not the rub as you just can't get the paper undone to do any.

Get used to the superglue on the toilet roll, beca...

2006-05-10T20:19:00.000+01:00

Get used to the superglue on the toilet roll, because Tesco and Google are going to take over the World!!!!111one

You can buy anything and everything from tesco's nowadays, and every type of software you could ever need - Google is going to produce!! =O

Teh-ub3r-ISPeee will fail at the feet of Tesco =(